Monday, 16 December 2013

131201+02 Paris for Infinite "One Great Step"

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna see my cams and pics, feel free to scroll way down past my yapping.

if you wanna know how ticketing for Paris went, you can read the first part of this post, cos it sorta was connected to London ticketing, though not? I dunno, it was a mess, but you can check it out if you want to.

of course it wasn't by choice, but having two concerts this close together was hell. I was in the vortex that was Inpi-solo-concert-S-U-N-G-G-Y-U and then having to deal with more fucking flying and more concert asdfhjghjkl!!
it would just have been better with at least a week or two apart. not complaining, it just didn't make the past week any easier.

131127+28 London for Infinite "One Great Step"

as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you just wanna see my cams and pics, feel free to scroll way down cos I like to talk a lot.

since this world tour was announced on June 10th and it was revealed that Infinite would come to Europe, I've had a stress knot in my stomach every time I've thought about ticketing for this cos it would have killed me to finally have them this close, and not be able to go.

in the world tour teaser Woollim only mentioned London and Paris, but a tour pass from the opening concert in Seoul showed Frankfurt as a 3rd Euro date, so up until the details for the other Euro dates were released we thought we'd have to budget with three trips. but not a peep about Frankfurt were ever heard so it obviously got cancelled for whatever reason. /sadface

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

131019 Marie and Søren's wedding~♥

I'm a person who likes to help people. I like to feel needed and useful, and when Marie asked me to do the flowers for their wedding, I felt not only that, but also extremely honoured and touched.

especially since I've never done a flower-anything in my life. okay, not entirely true, but to be honest, I don't really consider it a big accomplishment to stick cut-off flowers and whatnot into a vase. that really doesn't require much of anything remotely skillful.
but I have watched carefully when ordering bouquets at the shop, so I felt quite confident I would be able to do it. it looked easy

Monday, 11 November 2013

130713-23 summer holiday in Hamburg, Kiel, and South Jutland

so, due to all this crap we ended up scrapping our original camping idea, that we had been planning and looking forward to for months. we'll do that in two years instead -.-
and even though we are supposed to be saving for Korea next year, I really really needed to get away, so in my I-don't-give-a-fuck state, I suggested we do a hotel vacation in Hamburg instead. it's been a while since we've been there, but it's a place we love and know and could just have a nice, relaxed time there.

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

lap hys post-op report

a week ago, when I was shaking in bed, wide awake, the night before the surgery, I had this silly thought.. "I wonder if I'll feel different.."
maybe it's not silly, though, isn't that a pretty normal thought when you're facing major life-altering changes? 

Thursday, 22 August 2013

how much can you put on top of that, I wonder..

where to start...

yesterday I went to the hospital for my specialist appointment. I'd been awaiting and dreading this day for what has been a hell-ish 5 weeks, but finally it was here, and, as expected, I got my fears confirmed.

Wednesday, 10 July 2013


so, yesterday life was going pretty good. sure, hubs had bought a new motorcycle less than a week after he bought the first one, so we now have deal with the hassle of selling the first one, there were still lots to take care of before we were ready to leave for camping holiday on Friday, but we were getting there, and my period was being its usual bitchy self, but overall things were good. 

and then my doc called.

Sunday, 30 June 2013

I do

I just read an article in the NY Times about a 41 year old woman, an adoptee, who went back to Korea in 2004, and who, apparently, has been a leading part of the campaign that eventually lead the country to change its laws, so for the first time ever it's actually stipulated, that the country should reduce international adoptions of Korean children.
The government provides stipends for domestic adoptive parents and single mothers who wants to keep their children, and there has to be a period of at least 6 months wherein a child is sought to receive domestic adoptive parents before it is made available for international adoption. New mothers also have to spend the first week after giving birth with their child, while receiving counselling about the possibilities of keeping the baby before she can relinquish custody.

Friday, 28 June 2013

I can't count high enough for this

there are a lot of things I love about K-fans.
their dedication and devotion to their oppars and eonnirs being one.
their willingness (for the most part) to provide i-fans with pics and cams being another.

what I loathe is the adolescent sense of entitlement and ownership over these people, that some of them display.
the way they feel it's their right to to start rumours and take things out of context and twist it around, and act like it's the universal truth.
the way they scheme and lie, and somehow manages to make waves that reaches all the way to the top.
the way they don't care to consider and respect that real people's careers, reputations and sometimes lives are at stake.

the way they deliberately hurt people.

I am so pissed and frustrated right now. I don't usually bother with rumours or bitches, but this brought Woollim out, and he deleted all of his tweets. those are not usual steps for random harmless rumours..

my heart is breaking a million times over at the thought of how he may be feeling these days.

"Infinite is something I want to protect for life" - 김성규

if he ends up leaving over this..

on another note, it's making me cry even harder to see so many of all the noonas continuously tweet him their unyielding love and support, regardless of whose noona they are ㅠㅠㅠ 

Thursday, 20 June 2013

mind over matter

you know that feeling where your life just seems to be happening to you? I have no idea what's going on at the moment, my feelings just run amok, and me and my sanity are just one huge question mark, taken along for the insane roller coaster ride that is my life these days.

by no means does that mean that I haven't done so much thinking over the past few days, it makes me wonder how I have energy left to do anything but lie in bed and drool. it just means that I'm wondering if this is how severely manic-depressive people feel. cos really.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Berlin with the girls ♥

a while back during the many many months that was Danish winter this year, Marie asked the girls if we wouldn't like to make a girls' spring trip to Berlin. 
due to money and schedules and whatnot, in the end it was just Marie, Stine and me who ended op going.

the concept for the trip was clear from the get-go:
it was about a break from kids and husbands and daily chores, and about having time. time to shop, time to eat, time to talk, time to sleep, time to care only about your own adult needs (okay that sounds ambiguous) for 3 days! 

Saturday, 4 May 2013

fortunate ♥

tonight after dinner and doing the dishes it was around 22:30 (we eat like Southern Europeans for some reason). I was really beat cos I hadn't slept enough last night so I was contemplating if it was too early to go to bed.

and as I was sprawling on my bed, my big comfortable bed with soft clean bedding and big heavy pillows, it suddenly hit me.

to think that I am fortunate enough to have this in my life.

and then I turned my head and looked at hubs in the big lounge chair in the corner, sitting with his lappy, doing god knows what, and I just started weeping. 

I have a full belly, a big, comfortable bed, a roof over my head, peace in my country, and someone who loves me unconditionally.

I don't think I've ever felt so fortunate in my entire life. 

of course I've thought about all these things before, in fact, I think I'm very aware and grateful of my life because of everything I've been through, but this is the first time I remember feeling so incredibly lucky and fortunate with my entire being. 

and as I hugged hubs, I whispered to myself, "what a wonderful life" because despite money woes, mental illness, and possible lethal physical conditions, it really is.

each of those things I felt fortunate about might be a given for a lot of people, but it is so much more than what millions of people have, and - just for me personally - I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't appreciate it properly.

I'm not trying to sound religious about it, let's be real, most days I just pass out, but with a content sigh, but I dunno, something was different tonight..

I have a friend who has just been to India, and I just saw her make two tweets about how profound and life-changing that trip had been.

we haven't talked in a while so I don't know for what or how long she went, but I think her tweets triggered something in me cos it brought back memories of my own trip to India, and the intense level of poverty that just jumps up and punches you in the face and the heart by way of a flock of dirty children almost clinging to you, begging you for food or money or anything you wanna give them. pretty much everywhere we went as soon as we got out of the cab.

I dunno, maybe it didn't have anything to do with that, but the thought of those kids sure do make me appreciate every good and bad day I have here cos at least it's always better than that.

I wish you a wonderful life, too, dear reader 

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

a light ♥

this was actually written on 130319, but, yeah, life and.. I'm sorry, girls ᅲᅲᅲᅲ

yesterday I was awoken from my peaceful slumber, not once, but twice.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013


I'm so done with drama.

I'm so done with other people's problems.

I'm so done with being the one who's always calm and understanding and wise, who knows what to say and do and how to be there for others in their time of need and crisis, who's always reliable and sensible and considerate.

it's not that I'm not all of those things, I'm just also so much more, but it just seems to be all people see and it's constraining and suffocating and I'm done with it.

I have many and strong opinions, I often feel or see things differently from everyone else, and I'm done with not being allowed to say how I feel without having to sensor my thoughts to be as inoffensive and provoking to others as possible to a point where it might be what I think, but not how I feel anymore. 
I'm so fucking tired of having to weigh and bend my every word to suit others sensibilities. 

how do I always manage to set up friendships, or just relationships in general it seems, in a way where I never feel like I can just relax and be myself and say how I feel at any time without having it being perceived as being short or judgmental or inconsiderate or rude or or or.

am I really that special or do I just seem to be attracted to.. I dunno, sensitive people?

yesterday I told a friend "I'm sorry, I think I was being a bitch.." cos I had said some stuff to her I suddenly felt could have been bitchy cos I was in a such a horrible mood. 
after I said it, it dawned on me that the reason I felt like I might have been bitchy was cos I just didn't have the patience or energy to be super considerate with how I phrased things and if I may have sounded short in my replies to her.

her response was "why???" which I took as a "why would you think that you were being a bitch" more than a "why are you sorry" which just made me even more done with myself. 
so now I equate being a bitch with me not weighing my every single word no matter how insignificant the conversation (we were just casually chatting about nothing)... 

how to live like that..

I can't. 

I won't.

but how to not be that anymore without pushing sensitive people away who's extremely precious to me, and who is used to me being like that..

I dunno, and right now I don't even care.

I'm so done with people.

can I just disappear pls

Monday, 18 February 2013

130208-10 Paris for Teen Top

note: as usual, this is a personal travel account, not an ordinary whatever that means fanaccount, so if you don't wanna listen to me rant about everything, you can just scroll to the bottom for pics and cams

∞ ∞ ∞

I am not a superstitious person, but when the security check point said that our tickets gave him the result "not departing from this airport" after we had checked in both at home, and at an airport self-service machine, I quietly muttered, as we had to trek to the other end of the airport to check in at a service desk, "let's hope this isn't an omen for the trip in general..".


Saturday, 16 February 2013

my babies are back ;~; ♥

even though I've known Teen Top for 2 years and listened to their everything since Perfume 1½ years ago, I've actually only been a full-blown Angel for a little over 7 months, but in that short time this is already my second comeback with them.

and oh my god what a comeback. 

the video for "사랑하고 싶어" was released today (or yesterday or- time zones are confusing, but on Feb. 15th KST) and I was just completely blown away. the teaser had the bar pretty high, but this just blew it out of the water.

sure, my initial thoughts are that the song itself is.. not bad, but also not wOW, I mean, I like it, but it's pretty generic, and in places it sounds so much like Big Bang's Lies - which I like, but it just makes the tune a little redundant.

but the boys. the boys. my babies. I am just so fucking proud of them, this is the most gorgeous video, and they look amazing and it just strikes me how much they've all grown. 
they've come such a long way even just since Perfume, I mean, everyone me and Miranda always marvel at how Changjo can have just turned 17 THE GUY'S A FREAKING MAN OKAY

but, yeah, they have really grown up, and developed their talents, and even though I'm Chanhee biased and could easily listen to him sing solos all day long, I'm ecstatic at how much their vocals have grown to a level where they can distribute lines as equally as this.

and of course I cried a little. no one can really be surprised at this point, right?
but I'm knee-deep in my Paris fanaccount right now, and emotions are running high, and withdrawals even higher, and then they hit me with this piece of perfect, I just-

and now I will go back to said fanaccount, I just had to get these feels off my chest.  ..I need more Angels in my life ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

I am so proud of my babies ♥

Byeongheon is gorgeous 

that is all

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

121213-16 London for Big Bang

note: this was supposed to be a fanaccount of sorts, but in the end it just became me rambling about tons of other stuff, too, so if you're bored or meh just scroll to the bottom for cams and pics

∞ ∞ ∞ 

once upon a time me and Tia got to talking on twitter about Big Bang.
more specifically Big Bang in Europe, and since their Alive World Tour was in full swing, and they had actually included parts all over the world (not like certain other groups who claim world tour, but then stays in Asia -.-) I had long thought about how great it would be if they came to somewhere in Europe cos this is another group both me and hubs like, so less guilt about forcing him to spend a lot of money and come along if they ever set a date here.

so when Tia told me they'd have a show in London I was all jaghjdhfjkf!!! apparently it had been confirmed for a while but since I only have a couple of VIPs on tlist, and I don't talk much Big Bang with them, I was clueless.
but Tia linked me to their Facebook page with all the necessary info, bless her heart.
tickets would be going up for sale "soon" so there was a lovely agonizing waiting period ahead orz

Thursday, 24 January 2013

of presents, procrastination, and what is my life even

January 22nd 2013

I once mentioned in a post that I might do another post about the wonder that is my tlist aka my twitter crew, but on second thought I won't. first of all, a lot of them changes over time, and secondly, no one mentioned, no one forgotten, if you know what I mean.
I will however gush a little about one of them here. I guess one mentioned after all.